Writing Contest

Time to get your creativeness going, writers! Your challenge is to write an adventure diary from the point of view of either a Hero or a Villain. This must be at least 5 entries long.

• Use html breaks (<br />) to indicate your line breaks, so the Scribes do not have to guess.

• Please use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation.

• Limit your entry to 7,000 characters.

---

Title: Weapons of Mass Disgruntlement

User Name: Clefairy

The Chinchilla Overlords will have no idea what hit them. Floof? Ha! I\ve seen scarier in cubs\ books. No, my dears, my invention is that of nightmares, the bane of those who dare call themselves \good.\ Furlings will double-check their closets, wardrobes, and beds. Our lovely Nobles will lock themselves in their fancy homes, begging the plague that is my creation to leave them unscathed. Kirins will scour their scrolls, texts and records for even the tiniest bit of help. Even the mighty Direhound will tremble in its fur, begging to be sent back to the ungodly realm from which it came. It is elusive, it is strong, it is cunning, and nobody would ever suspect its true nature. All that I must do now is assemble it. The components will be hard to find, but the result will be well worth the effort if all goes according to plan.

DAY 27 - CREATION

After countless hours of searching, assembling, and testing, it is done. My fearsome creature is complete. I used some of CHIO Industries\ own technology to bring my creation to life - they would never suspect their own. It has spent its first hours of life studying the ways of Kasuria from ancient texts to modern novellas, from art to history to the sciences. It will know every nook, every cranny, every little secret this world of ours has to offer. It will know your name, your home, your greatest fears.. And it will exploit them before you can ever suspect it.

DAY 30 - BUGS

Some minor discrepancies have been made apparent in my invention. The creation has studied so intensely that it has decided its favorite language is one no longer spoken. It refuses to communicate in what it refers to as \commoners\ language\ and is impossible to convince otherwise. It has also taken up cooking. Specifically, I find it is partial to sweets; particularly fruity ones. This must be corrected! My monster, my child, is supposed to spread fear amongst the Kasurian peoples, not sugar rushes to spoiled younglings and kindly grandfurres!

DAY 45 - UNEXPTECTED RESULTS

I no longer know what to expect of my own creation. It has named itself Patsy. How unterrifying! I refuse to acknowledge such foolishness! The creation has also taken up new hobbies, none of which I approve - knitting being the most horrifying of the group. It has begun speaking of vacationing in Zefiroth. Vacationing! You are meant to bring agony to the masses, not spend your days identifying the shapes of clouds! Inconceivable! I will do everything in my power to assure this does not get any further out of paw! I will delve back into my research and see where my findings might have gone awry. This cannot continue.

DAY 65 - CONFUSION

My texts are flawless! There are no miscalculations, no unchecked variables, nothing! What\s worse, while I was searching for a solution to this nonsense, my creation started donating. Donating! How horrifyingly un-evil! Disgustingly good! This is the final straw for me - no more of this goodly doing shall go on! I will combat my creation with another - just you wait, \Patsy\, you will know evil yet.

DAY 78 - CORRECTION

My newest creation has proven much better than its Alpha version - henceforth, that is its name. I completed its construction in half the time, and it has proven just as dastardly as me! It has been spending its time recently sabotaging Alpha\s good deeds in sneaky ways, such as stealing sugar from the kitchen and various articles of clothing from the donation pile. Alpha has been getting increasingly frustrated, and does not even know of Beta\s existence. Things are going well.

DAY 80 - THE RIGHT PATH

Beta\s sneaking has increased in amount and in quality. Flour, the staple to Alpha\s baking, has gone missing every time it is restocked. Knitting needles and yarn have mysteriously vanished. A sign that Alpha had knitted reading its pseudo-name \PATSY\ has been removed from the wall, as well. Alpha is becoming exponentially more confused and irritated. Alpha will soon turn back to its roots, and join Beta and me in our world takeover. Very soon, very soon indeed, CHIO Industries will envy our dastardly plots and quick and effective execution. Watch out, Kasuria!

DAY 95 - NEVERMIND

How could I have been so foolish? Why did I not investigate these happenings earlier? As more and more of Alpha\s belongings went missing, I couldn\t help but wonder where they were going. My lab is empty but of my research and equipment that I placed there myself. After searching our home extensively, I located Beta\s hoard and was devastated by my findings. Beta had collected all of Alpha\s items and then duplicated its own! Alpha and Beta had teamed up behind me, created a secret room within my own home, and set up a base for their operations - donations! Together, now, they worked against me, their creator, as well as CHIO Industries! You must imagine my horror - furlings and elderly scuttling about inside my own home with things given to them freely by my creations meant to strike fear into the heart of warriors! Bake sales stationed around the vicinity with proceeds going to the poor! Knitting classes, free of charge. Even classes teaching Alpha\s favorite dead language back to the masses, reviving it to the common people! I have found the existential flaw in my plan. No amount of heavy research, math, chemical combinations and sneaky tactics could ever change this fact: Poodles simply lack the capacity for evil. It\s back to the drawing board for me.

Title: For the Primes

User Name: Dragonfire

I heard a bard singing in the courtyard of the Abbey this morning. The snatch I heard; I think it went so:

\Over the mountains and over the sea; come, brave furres and ferians, and join our company. We\ll fight the Wyrmmes in Harshlaw, and in Hasha\ashmi. Enlist, you furres and ferians, and come follow me.\

He wore the Good King Callistin\s colours, the bard; his instrument gleamed bright and new. Evidently the crown backs this venture he spoke of, even if the recruiting is not strictly for His Majesty\s army itself. It is curious, curious indeed.

And while he sang of fighting Wyrmmes, I suspect there may be an ulterior motive to this venture. The rumours have spread like wildfires since the airships were first sighted, off the coast of Harfang - the return of the Wyrmmes to Kasuria, alighting from Harshlaw and the other eastern cities of Drakoria. And what drives them, well; Some have said that the darkness falls faster than it should, even today, on Midsummer\s Day. Some of Truelight\s residents have spoken of strange dreams, jumbled visions. And some whisper that the stars themselves have dimmed in the night sky, their brilliance escaped to other avenues.

I am a simple mouse-maiden, with only a little magic to my name, but perhaps for my Lord and Lady, I will volunteer.

[July 9]

My journey to the capital, Malgrave, went smoothly. I have met with two officers of this adventuring company and heard of the honour and riches aplenty that await us. Many of their recruits seem to be young, fresh, hot-blooded soldiers, and it was the sort of talk that would tempt them greatly.

There are fewer of we of Mage bloodlines, but a sizeable cohort nonetheless. I am not the greenest of them; there is a timid wolf-maid a few years younger than myself who seems almost fresh from the schoolroom.

The strangest, though, is the hyoomans. I wonder that they should be accompanying us.

I was newly an acolyte when they first appeared at the Abbey, and didn\t even set eyes upon them before they were whisked away to the capital. That must have been; what, three years ago, perhaps? But tales abounded of Rhaetia and Nina among the higher acolytes, and they filtered down to us. Their appearance, as strange as they looked, was the least of it. They hardly seemed to have any knowledge of Kasuria, or even the Primes or the Dragon. It was as if they appeared out of thin air - and if the wizard, Rhaetia, was to be believed, that\s precisely what had happened.

The rumours said they were powerful in their own right, even for all their apparent defencelessness. But from what I have seen of them these past five days; Rhaetia seems friendly, but rushes from one subject to the next without a thought in between, and some of the things she asks would be quite rude if she did not appear so earnest. I can hardly believe that she has the power that they say she does. And Nina, well, I have yet to hear more than five words out of her; her voice is as quiet as air, and she follows her companion like a passive pet kiwi.

I do not trust them, and I know not why they are to come with us to Drakoria. But they must, apparently; word has come from the King himself.

[July 24]

Five days into our voyage across the sea, I find myself a little more settled against the motion of the waves.

Our company has been fleshed out; there are a hundred and twenty furres (and the two hyoomans) to complete our mission. Fifty of us are mage-blooded. It is an impossibly low number, were they to attempt to liberate one of the cities from Wyrmme control, or make any kind of strike against the airships. One of our commanders, however, hinted that our purpose was something more pointed. They are keeping the details close to their hearts, likely to attempt to foil any Wyrmme agents planted among us.

I do not think it is the Wyrmmes or their mind-slaves they need fear.

The hyoomans are indeed as powerful as the rumours said; Nina is one of the most skilled archers I have seen, and reloads her crossbow with a speed and strength that her frail frame belies. And in the mage-circle practices before we departed, Rhaetia demonstrated spells that none of our party had seen before, and the power behind her lightning bolts and flash-freezing blizzards was undeniable.

It frightens me to think of what her skill in Drakoria will be; magic there overflows in the air. I know my own powers will blossom there, but hers;

I attempted to speak to them, yesterday, thinking that perhaps I could ascertain their motives, or at the very least teach them a little about the Primes. And while Rhaetia was quite curious, and listened raptly to my explanations about them, she only shook her head when I asked her for an assurance about our mission objectives. \I thank you for your concern, dearie, but we follow our own gods. Of course, it\s fascinating, what you\ve told me, but I\m afraid the mission is our first priority. Your King was very adamant about that,\ she said.

And after she\d left, Nina turned to me on her way out of the door. \;The greatest dangers lie just out of sight. The cat in the tree, the fox behind one\s back, and the ill mouse in the pantry.\

It was the first time she\d spoken to me directly. They are not to be trusted. I knew it, knew it was so.

[August 22]

It was all a feint. There is no invasion, no great battles to be fought. We are not even making landfall on the main continent, just a solitary island off the Drakorian coast. The soldiers are only for the protection of we mages, and our task;

;We are to cast a great seal over the country, as directed by the hyooman sorceress, pouring our power towards her focus. She has said that they have used this process to keep back hordes of demons from murdering her people, to seal away malevolent entities for thousands of years.

They seek to prevent the reformation of Tallus; they wish to keep the stars forever in the sky.

I know now what I must do, and I only hope for strength to carry me through my task.

[August 26]

I have failed.

Lady Lokira, Lord Taglinn Tigh! I am so sorry. I know a thousand apologies will never be enough. I have failed, and your great brother will not be reborn, to join you in His proper place, not unless the Dragon Itself sees the great wrong It did, and makes restitution to the unfairly-maligned Primes.

I had her back in my sights, that vile hyooman, just as she gathered the mages\ energy to her, to let it loose in the great net that would bar Lord Tallus\s way. My magic would never be enough on Kasuria\s soil to strike her down, but in my homeland it has become great, once again-

-but not great enough. That archer, with the eyes in the back of her head, fired upon me an instant before I unleashed the killing blow. I saw her turn, was able to duck and flee, but the magic burned back against me as I let it loose, formlessly. I will never be able to cast again.

But it is nothing to the depths of my failure to you, my Primes. I will do whatever it takes to restore myself to you, and even if my failure may never be made up, I—

[The ink runs in a jerked, scratched line across the rest of the page. Below, a reddish stain mars the weather-worn page.]

Title: The Diary of a Chinchilla Overlord

User Name: Epitome

Dear Diary,
Today I have made my official appearance as a villain in Furctropolis. My appearance was met with less than optimal results. Standing on the rooftops, I shouted to the masses, \Fear me, for I am the Chinchilla Overlord! Bow before me, your new leader!\ It was most upsetting that not one hero came to stop me, nor even to look at me. I must find a greater way to gain attention.

May 17th
Dear Diary,
I was met with a worthy adversary today while at the laundromat. Yes, even evil geniuses need to have their laundry done, and my lab coat is dry clean only. However, when I was preparing to wash my delicates, I noticed that I was short on detergent. A kiwi was at the washer next to me. I asked if I could use some of his detergent, but he said, \no!\ How selfish, I thought, as I whipped out my portable freeze ray! But just as I did so, he presses a button on the watch around his stubby wing, and suddenly a mecha suit assembled around him, with huge cannons on the arms. \Is that a challenge?!\ I yelled. I shot my freeze ray at him, only to find myself catapulted into the wall by a cannon-launched snowball. I may have been bested today by Iron Kiwi;. but I shall not give up.

May 24th
Dear Diary,
I ran into Iron Kiwi once more in the park today. I always take my afternoon strolls there. It helps to clear my head, so that I can come up with even better evil inventions. Such as last week, when I came up with the idea for an evil automatic snowball throwing machine. Mother says it\s not very evil, but what does she know? But back to Iron Kiwi. I ran into him; literally, I ran into him while on my walk. I fell over, and what does he do? He offers to help me up, smiling all condescending-like. It was a deliberate jab at my self-confidence! That smirk, him just reminding me of how he bested me at the laundromat last week. This deed will not go unpunished.
P.S. I am currently working on a new evil invention, but it is top secret!!

July 10th
Dear Diary
My master weapon is complete. Planning on trying it out on Iron Kiwi after brunch with Mother on Tuesday.

July 14th
Dear Diary,
Today I am unveiling my newest and most dastardly invention (pause for dramatic effect) the shrink ray!! I decided that I was no longer going to be crushed by Iron Kiwi, so I will shrink him down to size instead!!

July 15th
Dear Diary,
I am currently writing to you from the world\s smallest jail cell; the Shrink Ray had some calibration issues.
Until next time,
Evil Chinchilla Overlord

Title: Countess Of Cruelty's Monthly Log

User Name: Ferhlsm

April 8th-
That blasted little brat. Honestly, what sort of super hero names themselves "Amazing Amazoness"? It's like a Wonder Woman rip off if you ask me. Still, I suppose it could\ve been worse. I ran into the pest while minding my own business, just trying to rob the local bank. And out of nowhere, in the middle of me pointing my best invention yet, the Grim Reaper\s Helper (patent pending), at the teller, this six and a half foot tall, too muscular, spandex wearing goliath of a woman bursts through the door! Of course I dropped the G.R.H. in fear, nearly wet myself too, now that I think about it, but she just bellows out \I have you now, you; you; who are you?\ Honestly, I was so offended! How did this B-rate hero not even know about me, The Countess of Cruelty? I\ve only been in like a dozen newspapers, and on the front page twice! So Annoying Annie punched me in the jaw, tied me up with stupid chord she keeps with her, and now here I am in jail, plotting my revenge.
May 8th-
I broke out of jail last week with the help of the cafeteria\s chili and a lot of spoons. I also finally found a moment to reflect upon my life. Let\s face it, I\m nearly thirty, I have a Doctorate in Elasmobranchology (the study of sharks, of course) and what have I been using it for? Not a lot. I have created a new breed of shark I\m calling the Golden Tiger Megalodon, but he\s still a baby and is only five feet long. I hope he grows up soon; I want to terrorize people with him. I need a vacation though. Maybe I should bring my shark. His name is Bucky. Where should I go for a break? I finally put my G.R.H. back together, but I had to find the pieces to rebuild it since A. A. stomped on it with her giant foot. I\m thinking I\ll hack into some computers, book a flight to a beach, and take a break.
June 8th-
Well that didn\t go as well as I had planned. Bucky and I made it all the way to the Atlantic Ocean. I was lazing about on a boat, Bucky was swimming around me, and out of nowhere a lifeguard freaks out and shrieks \Shark! Everyone out of the water!\ I was so startled I looked around, but all I saw was Bucky\s dorsal fin. He\s much bigger now. About the size of a Great White. The lifeguard was shrieking and flailing at me and I just shrugged, so the Coast Guard came to help and who else but Angsty Anya was leading them. We glared at each other and she looked down at the water. \That your shark?\

\No, he\s a friend\s. Of course he\s mine you ninny, and he\s just a baby. Not going to hurt any of those beach dwellers, they\re too fatty for his diet anyway. You, however;\

\Give it up Countess of Cruelty, your evil deeds will never pay off!\

\Wait, what have I even done this time? I\m not hurting anyone!\

\You; uh; your shark;\

\Is swimming and stretching his fins! Get lost Amazoness, you aren\t needed this time!\

Needless to say, I was the only one who thought so. I was ordered to take Bucky to a private, netted in beach, or have him taken away permanently. Back to hacking computers, Momma Countess needs a private beach!
July 8th-
Bucky loves the private beach we live on. It\s in a cove that\s nearly impossible to get to because there are fifty foot cliffs all around it, craggy rocks, and a very tiny dirt path to the modest three story house I reside in. A funny thing happened though, I was sitting out on the beach, tinkering with a new device to hypnotize people, when Amazing Amazoness showed up in all her burly muscular glory. I looked up over the rims of my wire glasses, just enjoying the day, and she clears her throat and says, \Are you causing any problems today, Countess?\

\Oh, hey Annette, what brings you around?\

\I am patrolling for trouble and you are always up to something. What are you doing?\

\Tinkering with a new gadget. Patrolling, you say? Would you like some iced tea?\

\Wouldn\t taking something from you be dangerous?\

\Not at all, I\m on my day off, you can tell by the light lab coat and bathing suit I\m wearing.\

\You call that a bathing suit?\

I looked down at what I had on beneath the coat. It was a simple black wet suit that went from my collar to my knees, the arms extending to my elbows. I shrugged. \You call your outfit a uniform?\

We glared at each other but she slowly sank into the chair opposite mine. I got the iced tea and some lemon squares and set my gadget aside, offering my odd guest a refreshment.

\So; how\s your shark?\

\Bucky is doing well, thank you. He\s over there in the enclosure of the ocean.\

We spent the afternoon talking, and when A. A. left, I was almost smiling. Almost. I had hidden a tracking device in the tea I gave her and will activate it soon on a watch I have. Then I\ll be able to know when she\s near and slip away before she can catch me!
August 8th-
Today is my birthday! It is an exciting yet lonely event for me. I had my eye on a particular painting, Jean-Honoré Fragonard\s The Swing. I want it for my parlor room. So I had to up and go to London at night and sneak into the museum. Of course Bucky could not come with me.

Anyway, I was in the museum when my watch started to give off tiny vibrations and I swore. Amazing Amazoness was nearby, I must\ve tripped an alarm. I ducked into the room with the painting and took out goggles, placing them over my eyes. Lights flickered into view: lasers that would sound a violent alarm, no doubt. I must\ve tripped a silent one. As quickly as I could, I made my way to the painting and took out an X-Acto knife. I cut the painting down, rolled it as quickly into a poster canister as I could, and was about to make my escape when, in the doorway, A. A. was waiting.

\Countess of Cruelty, what are you doing in London?\

\Shopping. It\s my birthday.\

\Is it? And I have to arrest you!\

\Not tonight, Annie!\

\Why do you keep calli-\

Amazoness never got the rest of her question out. I rolled a smoke grenade at her and listened to her cough and sputter as I made my escape. Once I was out, it was just a matter of rolling a poster of the painting I stole into the canister around the original, hopping a few different flights home, and grabbing my Bug-out bag. I would, of course, cut Bucky\s net. But as I got home and unlocked the door, I saw a parcel waiting on my door step. Curiously, I looked it over. Brown paper wrapping, no note; I shook it, but no ticking. Slowly I opened it. Inside were a few things. A shark plush, nail varnish called \Great White Hide\, and a birthday card with a picture of a drawn Hammerhead. The inside read:

\Happy Birthday Countess of Cruelty. I hope I don\t run into you today, I don\t want to arrest you on your birthday. Signed, Amazing Amazoness.

P.S.- My name is Abigail, not Annie!\

I grabbed my Bug-out bag, stuffed the card, plush, and polish into it, and set to work. I may not think so badly of Annoying An- I mean, Abigail, anymore, but I am still a villain and there are evils to be done! I may let Bucky wreck some havoc on Hawaii next.

Title: Wastlands Journal

User Name: Firestoem

Dear reader, if you\ve found this, I might have either lost it or possibly have passed on. I\ll be leaving the journal here if I ever decide to ever leave. I\m writing this as a record that life still exists, and you were not alone.

-Sprocket Rakuun

Falltree 56, 692

It\s been awhile since I\ve seen anyone. Well, anyone that didn\t want to rip me apart. Wandering theses wastelands for any food is proving difficult and every day I worry I\ll starve to death if those blasted raven\s don\t get to me first. They\re blood thirsty beasts.

Falltree 64 692

I\ve managed to scavenge enough materials to make a shelter. It doesn\t stand out much at all compared to the other rubble around. Still no signs of friendly life. I nearly got my tail ripped off after an attack. I found this strange artifact as well, it seems to get the attention of the ravens, so naturally I\ve kept it hidden. Still no food, been eating grass.

Snowtree 23 693

I\ve managed to find a recently devastated town. Unfortunately no survivors, but managed to haul back a large amount of supplies including food. It\s starting to get very cold, which means I\ll need to start a fire and that will reveal my location. The town is about 2 miles north east of my shelter. I haven\t decided if I want to move on south to warmer weather, find a much less conspicuous location for a fire, or wait it out here. I have the supplies to last through the snowfalls but I can\t haul it all anywhere.

Snowtree 43 693

I believe I may have found a book that identifies the amulet I found a few months ago. It shows depictions of the raven griffons flying in fear of it, but they seem attracted to it. Unfortunately I don\t have any way of translating it, perhaps it can be useful. Still no signs of life.

Snowtree 65 693

The snow has really been coming down. It\s freezing out and I barley have any warmth at all. I\ve decided to stay here where I have supplies. I hope I don\t freeze to death. I\ve risked a few very small fires which have helped to keep me alive. I\ve also been tracking the ravens. Only one seems to be here, although I thought there was more. It stalks around all the time, I think it knows I\m here but can\t find me. I haven\t been going outside for weeks at a time.

Snowtree 76 693

There have been countless blizzards in this wasteland dessert. No visibility. Yesterday, I risked a full fire which caused that giant bird gryphon to spot me and attack nearly ripping my shelter apart. I managed to grab the amulet hit the raven with it when it attacked me. And it killed it instantly. I still don\t know how or why. But these birds have brought this world to hell and I just found their weakness. When this winter is over, I am going to start a search for other life.

Also, it tastes like chicken.


Springup 74 694
Sandy Moon waz here!
Springup 110 694
Rocket Weasel was here. No ravens around, set up a beacon.
Springup 111 694
Wacko was here <3 Thanks Rocket! Stayed for the night. Nice raven skull Sprocket!
Springup 150 694
Rosey was here. Stupid skull scared me to much to sleep. Will stay at the town East of here, 5 miles.

Title: Quest Journal

User Name: Kaze

Day 23:
NOTE TO SELF: SUMMARIZE PREVIOUS LOST ENTRIES.
So it turns out keeping your journal in your
back pocket while going over a waterfall
may not be the best practice. Long story short,
I am on a mystical quest to save the land of something
or other. Anyway, I've got to get the pointy end of
this sword into a bad guy named Evilistor. I mean,
is that the guy's actual name or what? Like,
on his birth certificate?? Parents can be weird sometimes..
Anyway, more training to do. I'm out!

Day 30:
Good news! We've made it to the Village of
Maidens Who Fawn Over Heroes. Everybody is super
friendly. There's going to be a feast tonight!
Maybe more, the way the ladyfolk seem to stare...

Day 40:
The feasts! The ladies! This village has been
treating us so well, it's hard to leave. Now
that I think about it, maybe they are treating
us TOO well? This may warrant further investigation.

Day 45:
Ok, my bad. Broke into several homes, eavesdropped
in a few meetings. They were just going to send me
a nice letter afterwards to kindly request a donation
to their local library. Anyway, while they have been
very kind (but, as my investigations found, not TOO kind),
I must continue my journey. Which was uhmm.
To defeat that one mean guy. Or gal?? Wasn't really clear.
We leave in the morning.

Day 49:
We're making good progress. I guess I should start filling
in from my previous entries now. So it starts like this:
I'm minding my own business, playing Furious Eagles on my phone,
and out of nowhere this owl's at my window, carrying a weird sword and an envelope.
Are sword owls even legal these days? Anyway, the letter is
a plea for help from the Kingdom, and a brave warrior is needed
to help defeat some subjugator. I'm not a warrior (or particularly
brave for that matter), but hopefully the prize will be pretty sweet.

PS: Quest Distribution really needs to hurry and
build an app. I mean, Quest By Owl?
Really?

Day 60:
Two months into this quest, and I think I've got the whole magic sword thing down.
Did I mention it's a magic sword in this new journal? It's pretty cool.
I can make it shoot fire, or even ice sometimes! Pew pew!
Anyway, we got a lead on Ms. (Or Mr.? Emailed QD, still no clarification.
You'd think they'd send a picture or something.)
Evilistor. According to their Furrebook status, they're going to visit
some of their minions a couple of villages from here. I'll be waiting.

Note to self: Check Furrebook privacy settings.

Day 65:
Made it to the village. They've got the best kabobs here.
Anyway, whatsyerface should be arriving tomorrow..

Note to self: Leave Yarp review for this place. SUCH GREAT KABOBS.

Another note: Come up with a cool one-liner.
"Your scheming days are over!"?? I like good puns, though..

Day 66:
I KNEW EVILISTOR WAS TOO STUPID OF A NAME TO BE TRUE.
The name was "Eva Lisiora."
Apparently the folks down at the Census have terrible handwriting.
As far as the "Subjugation" goes, it turns out she's head of
Quest Distribution in the Kingdom I'm from, and it was just
some irate worker who sent me the sword and letter,
because his precious two hour lunch got cut by thirty minutes.
Anyway! Eva seems like a very nice person, and we had lunch together!
(KABOBS! Still amazing. I could eat here forever)
And those "minions" she was meeting turned out to be a family visit.
And I was looking forward to having a wing at VoMWFoH's
library named after me... Well, I'll have to forward this to my
lawyer and see what kind of compensation I can get. Hopefully
at least this cool sword.

Day 248:
Settlement's been.. err.. Settled? In short, the
Kingdom of Kingdoria is freed from all responsibility
of me going on a fruitless quest, in return for which
I get to keep the cool sword (YESSSSSSS) and also,
the Village of Maidens Who Fawn Over Heroes gets a
new wing for its local library. In addition,
I get compensated for any expenses incurred during my
"quest."

All in all, a good deal. And I guess I'm still considered
a Hero, because it's not the Quest that makes the Hero,
but their heart.


Day 250: "You thought you could escape, but I was HOT on your trail!"
as I shoot my sword fire at them. PERFECT ONE LINER.